writing

Circling Hunger

Hawks are circling in Springtime skies
looking below, angling prey.
the boy in the magenta t-shirt passes by
it reads “Real Men Wear Pink.”
Gentle hunter for a modern age.

Something golden, small, successful
clutches the side of tall, bare tree
from its talons hangs a whip-thin rope
snake and hawk, one for the other
one sounds as it moves
one sounds as it calls.

The boy smiles at me.
i nod appreciatively.
i move.
he calls.

Turkey Vultures greedily amble
a black parade at the side of the road
wings spread like dark-toothed combs
the torn edges of overlapping parachutes
crowding in, crowding out the landing space
near their carrion comfort.

The screech owl wakes me,
it’s time to hunt, pretty, open your eyes . . .
we used to keep those same hours he and i
and just now, i am an indigo mouse
small, blue, running in moonlit fields
squealing with fright, but quick, clever.

He clutches my hand, i slither
but allow myself to be carried.
He tugs at my velvet ear, i twitch
but allow myself only to listen.

The hunt grows tiring, a body grows slack
wings fold in to rest awhile, and a jaundiced eye
watches the world grow old around it
but cannot bear to turn the eye inside.

Not yet.
Not now.

The shadow of wings play against the wall
a cloudless nite so opportune,
gathering strength, garnering sleep
he calls, I move.

~ Andrea E. Janda

writing

this girl

this girl

this girl figure skates in her bathtub
this girl is a repressed writer
this girl knows that a pair of shoes
can change your mind and change the world
or at least determine how far you travel.
this girl is friends with black and blue
but doesn’t need a place to sit down
or stand still, to count her bruises
and she doesn’t want her name tag
to read “wife.”
this girl will gently comb your body
examine your every shape for interpretations
in the small of your back
the length of your arms
the back of your calves
your hands.
and you will think to look for her
in dark places and she will laugh at you
standing in a shock of sunlight
eying you from under her umbrella.
and you will love her every contradiction
wish yourself underneath her coat
wonder what it’s like to be the pocket lint
riding soft alongside her hip
you will pack your razorblade suitcase
and this girl will fill the bathtub in the hotel
the room will go cold, your lips will pale
your eyes and hair go white rabbit snowshoes
and the voice of this girl will come
glass shatter blood trickle thirst
you will find yourself skating figure 8s
deep circles of infinite love
stretched taut for
this girl.

~ Andrea E. Janda

writing

Complete Body of Work

I spent a lot of time today.
I put on stockings
. . . . . . and I never do that
And when I laid myself down on that long white canvas,
she traced my body
in all the fine details I liked and admitted
and those I could not see.

And we laughed and remarked
all those points in between where my fingers jagged
and how much I liked the empty slopes to be touched.
and how the pencil had a way of making points and triangles
where there were none.

The first time I tried this exercise
was in the 3rd grade.
There was no ginger navigation,
there were no points no hips no breasts to avoid.
And Timmy, did a fine job, and didn’t make my head too big.
Timmy with a beautiful brown birthmark
on the side of his cheek.
I called it Jupiter’s spot once.
He blushed and took it as a compliment.

When my outline was finished, I rolled it out
and hung it on the wall
And I began to affix things to it.
Scraps of poetry, beer caps, pictures,
Miniature snapshot flashbulb memoirs,
Tiny swatches of time I inhabited
Meaningful, in all probability,
only to myself.

Once my body was full of all that I was
I hung it on the wall at school for all to see.
I existed for a time in two places.
And it was disconcerting to see me everyday like that,
People looking at those scattered pieces of me,
unraveling me,
knowing me.
I felt naked and under scrutiny,
but I grew comfortable.

And that one thoughtless boy,
One of a string of so many like him,
I caught him pressing my profile
Waiting for a class,
I had to ask him, If he wouldn’t mind so much as to move
. . . . . . .
I’d rather he read me,
than lean on me.